There's More to Life Than Being Happy
"It is the
very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness."
In September
1942, Viktor Frankl, a prominent Jewish psychiatrist and neurologist in Vienna,
was arrested and transported to a Nazi concentration camp with his wife and
parents. Three years later, when his camp was liberated, most of his family,
including his pregnant wife, had perished -- but he, prisoner number 119104,
had lived. In his bestselling 1946 book, Man's Search for Meaning, which
he wrote in nine days about his experiences in the camps, Frankl concluded that
the difference between those who had lived and those who had died came down to
one thing: Meaning, an insight he came to early in life. When he was a high
school student, one of his science teachers declared to the class, "Life
is nothing more than a combustion process, a process of oxidation." Frankl
jumped out of his chair and responded, "Sir, if this is so, then what can
be the meaning of life?"
As he saw in
the camps, those who found meaning even in the most horrendous circumstances
were far more resilient to suffering than those who did not. "Everything
can be taken from a man but one thing," Frankl wrote in Man's Search
for Meaning, "the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's
attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
Frankl worked
as a therapist in the camps, and in his book, he gives the example of two
suicidal inmates he encountered there. Like many others in the camps, these two
men were hopeless and thought that there was nothing more to expect from life,
nothing to live for. "In both cases," Frankl writes, "it was a
question of getting them to realize that life was still expecting something
from them; something in the future was expected of them." For one man, it
was his young child, who was then living in a foreign country.For the other, a
scientist, it was a series of books that he needed to finish. Frankl writes:
This uniqueness and singleness which
distinguishes each individual and gives a meaning to his existence has a
bearing on creative work as much as it does on human love. When the
impossibility of replacing a person is realized, it allows the responsibility
which a man has for his existence and its continuance to appear in all its
magnitude. A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a
human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will
never be able to throw away his life. He knows the "why" for his
existence, and will be able to bear almost any "how."
In 1991, the
Library of Congress and Book-of-the-Month Club listed Man's Search for
Meaning as one of the 10 most influential books in the United States. It
has sold millions of copies worldwide. Now, over twenty years later, the book's
ethos -- its emphasis on meaning, the value of suffering, and responsibility to
something greater than the self -- seems to be at odds with our culture, which
is more interested in the pursuit of individual happiness than in the search
for meaning. "To the European," Frankl wrote, "it is a
characteristic of the American culture that, again and again, one is commanded
and ordered to 'be happy.' But happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One
must have a reason to 'be happy.'"
According to
Gallup , the happiness levels of Americans are at a four-year high -- as is, it
seems, the number of best-selling books with the word "happiness" in
their titles. At this writing, Gallup also reports that nearly 60 percent all
Americans today feel happy without a lot of stress or worry. On the other hand,
according to the Center for Disease Control, about 4 out of 10 Americans have
not discovered a satisfying life purpose. Forty percent either do not think
their lives have a clear sense of purpose or are neutral about whether their
lives have purpose. Nearly a quarter of Americans feel neutral or do not have a
strong sense of what makes their lives meaningful. Research has shown that
having purpose and meaning in life increases overall well-being and life
satisfaction, improves mental and physical health, enhances resiliency,
enhances self-esteem, and decreases the chances of depression. On top of that,
the single-minded pursuit of happiness is ironically leaving people less happy,
according to recent research. "It is the very pursuit of happiness,"
Frankl knew, "that thwarts happiness."
This is why
some researchers are cautioning against the pursuit of mere happiness. In a new
study, which will be published this year in a forthcoming issue of the Journal
of Positive Psychology, psychological scientists asked nearly 400 Americans
aged 18 to 78 whether they thought their lives were meaningful and/or happy.
Examining their self-reported attitudes toward meaning, happiness, and many
other variables -- like stress levels, spending patterns, and having children
-- over a month-long period, the researchers found that a meaningful life and
happy life overlap in certain ways, but are ultimately very different. Leading
a happy life, the psychologists found, is associated with being a
"taker" while leading a meaningful life corresponds with being a
"giver."
"Happiness
without meaning characterizes a relatively shallow, self-absorbed or even
selfish life, in which things go well, needs and desire are easily satisfied,
and difficult or taxing entanglements are avoided," the authors write.
How do the
happy life and the meaningful life differ? Happiness, they found, is about
feeling good. Specifically, the researchers found that people who are happy
tend to think that life is easy, they are in good physical health, and they are
able to buy the things that they need and want. While not having enough money
decreases how happy and meaningful you consider your life to be, it has a much
greater impact on happiness. The happy life is also defined by a lack of stress
or worry.
Most importantly
from a social perspective, the pursuit of happiness is associated with selfish
behavior -- being, as mentioned, a "taker" rather than a
"giver." The psychologists give an evolutionary explanation for this:
happiness is about drive reduction. If you have a need or a desire -- like
hunger -- you satisfy it, and that makes you happy. People become happy, in
other words, when they get what they want. Humans, then, are not the only ones
who can feel happy. Animals have needs and drives, too, and when those drives
are satisfied, animals also feel happy, the researchers point out.
"Happy
people get a lot of joy from receiving benefits from others while people
leading meaningful lives get a lot of joy from giving to others,"
explained Kathleen Vohs, one of the authors of the study, in a recent
presentation at the University of Pennsylvania. In other words, meaning
transcends the self while happiness is all about giving the self what it wants.
People who have high meaning in their lives are more likely to help others in
need. "If anything, pure happiness is linked to not helping others in
need," the researchers write.
What sets human
beings apart from animals is not the pursuit of happiness, which occurs all
across the natural world, but the pursuit of meaning, which is unique to
humans, according to Roy Baumeister, the lead researcher of the study and
author, with John Tierney, of the recent book Willpower: Rediscovering the
Greatest Human Strength. Baumeister, a social psychologists at Florida
State University, was named an ISI highly cited scientific researcher in 2003.
The study
participants reported deriving meaning from giving a part of themselves away to
others and making a sacrifice on behalf of the overall group. In the words of
Martin E. P. Seligman, one of the leading psychological scientists alive today,
in the meaningful life "you use your highest strengths and talents to
belong to and serve something you believe is larger than the self." For
instance, having more meaning in one's life was associated with activities like
buying presents for others, taking care of kids, and arguing. People whose
lives have high levels of meaning often actively seek meaning out even when
they know it will come at the expense of happiness. Because they have invested
themselves in something bigger than themselves, they also worry more and have
higher levels of stress and anxiety in their lives than happy people. Having
children, for example, is associated with the meaningful life and requires
self-sacrifice, but it has been famously associated with low happiness among
parents, including the ones in this study. In fact, according to Harvard
psychologist Daniel Gilbert, research shows that parents are less happy
interacting with their children than they are exercising, eating, and watching
television.
"Partly
what we do as human beings is to take care of others and contribute to others.
This makes life meaningful but it does not necessarily make us happy," Baumeister told me in an interview.
Meaning is not
only about transcending the self, but also about transcending the present
moment -- which is perhaps the most important finding of the study, according
to the researchers. While happiness is an emotion felt in the here and now, it
ultimately fades away, just as all emotions do; positive affect and feelings of
pleasure are fleeting. The amount of time people report feeling good or bad
correlates with happiness but not at all with meaning.
Meaning, on the
other hand, is enduring. It connects the past to the present to the future.
"Thinking beyond the present moment, into the past or future, was a sign
of the relatively meaningful but unhappy life," the researchers write. "Happiness
is not generally found in contemplating the past or future." That is,
people who thought more about the present were happier, but people who spent
more time thinking about the future or about past struggles and sufferings felt
more meaning in their lives, though they were less happy.
Having negative
events happen to you, the study found, decreases your happiness but increases
the amount of meaning you have in life. Another study from 2011 confirmed this,
finding that people who have meaning in their lives, in the form of a clearly
defined purpose, rate their satisfaction with life higher even when they were
feeling bad than those who did not have a clearly defined purpose. "If
there is meaning in life at all," Frankl wrote, "then there must be
meaning in suffering."
***
Which brings us
back to Frankl's life and, specifically, a decisive experience he had before he
was sent to the concentration camps. It was an incident that emphasizes the
difference between the pursuit of meaning and the pursuit of happiness in life.
In his early
adulthood, before he and his family were taken away to the camps, Frankl had
established himself as one of the leading psychiatrists in Vienna and the
world. As a 16-year-old boy, for example, he struck up a correspondence with
Sigmund Freud and one day sent Freud a two-page paper he had written. Freud,
impressed by Frankl's talent, sent the paper to the International Journal of
Psychoanalysis for publication. "I hope you don't object," Freud
wrote the teenager.
While he was in
medical school, Frankl distinguished himself even further. Not only did he establish
suicide-prevention centers for teenagers -- a precursor to his work in the
camps -- but he was also developing his signature contribution to the field of
clinical psychology: logotherapy, which is meant to help people overcome
depression and achieve well-being by finding their unique meaning in life. By
1941, his theories had received international attention and he was working as
the chief of neurology at Vienna's Rothschild Hospital, where he risked his
life and career by making false diagnoses of mentally ill patients so that they
would not, per Nazi orders, be euthanized.
That was the
same year when he had a decision to make, a decision that would change his
life. With his career on the rise and the threat of the Nazis looming over him,
Frankl had applied for a visa to America, which he was granted in 1941. By
then, the Nazis had already started rounding up the Jews and taking them away
to concentration camps, focusing on the elderly first. Frankl knew that it
would only be time before the Nazis came to take his parents away. He also knew
that once they did, he had a responsibility to be there with his parents to
help them through the trauma of adjusting to camp life. On the other hand, as a
newly married man with his visa in hand, he was tempted to leave for America
and flee to safety, where he could distinguish himself even further in his
field.
As Anna S.
Redsand recounts in her biography of Frankl, he was at a loss for what to do,
so he set out for St. Stephan's Cathedral in Vienna to clear his head.
Listening to the organ music, he repeatedly asked himself, "Should I leave
my parents behind?... Should I say goodbye and leave them to their fate?"
Where did his responsibility lie? He was looking for a "hint from
heaven."
When he
returned home, he found it. A piece of marble was lying on the table. His
father explained that it was from the rubble of one of the nearby synagogues
that the Nazis had destroyed. The marble contained the fragment of one of the
Ten Commandments -- the one about honoring your father and your mother. With
that, Frankl decided to stay in Vienna and forgo whatever opportunities for
safety and career advancement awaited him in the United States. He decided to
put aside his individual pursuits to serve his family and, later, other inmates
in the camps.
The wisdom that
Frankl derived from his experiences there, in the middle of unimaginable human
suffering, is just as relevant now as it was then: "Being human always
points, and is directed, to something or someone, other than oneself -- be it a
meaning to fulfill or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets
himself -- by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love --
the more human he is."
Baumeister and
his colleagues would agree that the pursuit of meaning is what makes human
beings uniquely human. By putting aside our selfish interests to serve someone
or something larger than ourselves -- by devoting our lives to
"giving" rather than "taking" -- we are not only expressing
our fundamental humanity, but are also acknowledging that that there is more to
the good life than the pursuit of simple happiness.
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